I Was Truly Lost…

The first thing I want to say is “Glory to God for helping me find the path in my life!”

I was living my life in a series of angry and emotionally draining minutes. Yes… minutes… not days.

Every minute seemed to be a struggle for my mental survival.

This is how the Holy Spirit renewed my heart, mind and life.

“My experience and thoughts for building a better life, relationships and family throughout in red”.

My life journey has been somewhat disastrous that I am not sure how I even got to where I am today. It’s like looking at a movie and then seeing the credits all of a sudden. What the heck happened to the movie itself?

Anyway, I will start from the beginning, so you understand how I got to where I am right now. Don’t worry it won’t be long, detailed and boring. But it will have life issues, drama and ways to change your life for the better… if necessary.

My Partially Fake and Bumbling Life

I am not sure when it actually started, but know it didn’t happen because of my parents. They were together until the end and did their best to provide for us.

Being a perceived tough guy became my life growing up and continued into my adult life. I did what I wanted and operated as I pleased, not caring for others.

In general, my life was good, but with more downs than ups.

Who am I kidding? There were more downs and it made me feel like vomiting at times. They say you make your bed and now you lay in it. Wow, what a crappy and lumpy bed.

“Does your life need some changes? Try the Bible for guidance. If I could go back and do it all over I would. This time I would definitely have the Bible with me for true guidance”.

I am not saying my life was bad, but many times in turmoil and out-of-control from developing some not-good decisions and at times walking away from my responsibilities.

What the hell was I thinking? I wasn’t. It was outside influence getting in my head because I let it. Actually, I didn’t know any better and no one was telling me that.

If I had to put my life in a box, these would be the parts:

1. I grew up around street people and city unrest.
2. TV shows and movies influenced my thinking.
3. Being a tough guy was a way of life, but looking back somewhat necessary.
4. Being influenced by TV and movies caused problems with work and people.

“Believe it or not TV and movies can seriously affect your thinking. Be sure you are not influenced into being someone you are not”.

My marriage ended in divorce with a beautiful baby girl that I was desperately struggling to raise as a weekend Dad. Being a street guy it was something I was destined to screw-up. And, guess what… I did big time.

Is anger getting the best of you? Find out what things make you angry and fix or remove them.

I was brief and prone to anger and talking down to people, because I felt superior. Even those close to me. My ad career was up and down ended up quitting due to my own dismissive attitude, even when I had been offered the opportunity to alter it.

Yes, a job review included a stipulation which was to be more of a team player, but that was not in my head so I got pissed off and walked out. Looking back I realized it was an idiot move on my part.

“Being lost doesn’t mean staying lost. There is always a way out”.

I was struggling and delinquent being a weekend Dad. I didn’t know how and there was no book to guide me. I did half-ass and OK at best.

So, what was the problem? Not being there as planned and missing some events. They may seem simple to you the reader, but not to a child looking for their parent to show up. It seemed that my new dating life seemed to hold sway over many other things. Those missed times became and still are very regrettable and painful for me.

Now To The Actual Point of This Story.

Finally… your thinking. So am I.

This story involves my graphic design abilities that were in me from birth and how the Divine designs evolved. Even today it has me amazed and very much enlightened.

I know graphic design and understand it takes time to design logos, websites, brochures and posters.

Many times getting ideas were frustrating. I could sit for hours and not come up with one decent idea. But you had to move along and get it together.

“Have you been going somewhere, shopping or doing something and an idea pops into your mind and you think “Wow that’s a clever idea”? Have you ever wondered where the idea came from… really?”

Oh well… another couple of cups of coffee and more revised ideas.

What I Feel is My Unfulfilled Life Journey.

I no longer work for ad agencies, but wanted to stay up-to-date in the graphic design field.

“Feel that your life is unfulfilled? Look back on the things you liked as a child for wisdom towards finding your life’s Divine path. I started with a simple grammar school art project”.

Learning and using Photoshop (referred to as PS in the rest of this story) has helped with some minor personal projects, but nothing for a paying client.

After some noble decision making, I decided to employ my skills helping non-profit groups.

“Volunteering your time is a very fulfilling and rewarding for your soul if you can take a little time to help others. There’s always time, but there are more excuses. Which one are you?”

Anyway, it is December 13, 2017 and I am at my computer working on a personal Christmas card project.  Outside the snow is falling and it’s freezing cold. Only kidding. It’s Florida and it’s sunny and warm.

Here’s The Real Shocker

Out of nowhere I get this miraculous idea to design a religious design. I recall the date because it is in my sketchbook.

The sketchbook is where all of the design ideas are roughed out. I have been doing this from the beginning of my Divine path and journey.

Now, I don’t have any religious inclinations or solid scriptural foundation, just merely the idea of producing a design and not knowing why.

I am not a practicing religious person. I believe in God (and Christ Jesus) but wasn’t praying on a frequent or even partial basis and didn’t attend church. I did attend church as a child and teenager.

“Wondering about God? God does work in mysterious ways. I can truly attest to that”.

Have you ever had the feeling that something in your life is lacking? You feel like you are in a boat with no paddles heading down the river. That was how I was feeling. Lost and not able to get my bearings.  And, at this point working on a religious design made no sense at all. It was extremely confounding.

Why and where did the idea come from and why do it at all? I somehow felt compelled to work on the design. Kind of like someone speaking to me and explaining what to do, but with no real voice. It is a voice inside offering me direction if I chose to take it.

Here’s the key: “If I chose to take it.”

“Have you ever had a voice inside telling you what to do? You have to decide whether it is for good or bad. Good usually has the very best outcome”.

You would likely say I am a little wacky being a designer/artist and I will agree.

Was it my own internal voice conveying the ideas to me? Not in my thinking and how would I know anyway. And at this time in my life religion was miles away and not even on my radar. Perhaps a door from God? I wouldn’t know if it was anyway.

“We are told that when one door closes another one opens. You just have to decide whether to go through it or not. That’s what is called free-will”.

So for me after very serious consideration of my answer? Maybe the Holy Spirit? But why would the Holy Spirit come to me?..

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