There was a time in my life when everything felt like it was falling apart.

My family was broken. My job was a burden. I was failing as a parent, and my marriage was not holding together. All of it—every wound, every failure, every mistake—was wrapped up in a heavy, tangled mess. And I was the one carrying it. I didn’t know how to fix it. I didn’t even know how to ask for help.

I had questions about God, about the Bible. Not because I was searching—but because I was lost and didn’t know it. Back then, I didn’t realize that something bigger was already moving. Quietly, gently, God was weaving redemption into my life—even when I was still resisting Him.

There were moments—quiet, powerful ones that I had ignored… until I couldn’t anymore.

One of those happened years ago. I was driving on the highway, completely exhausted, when I drifted off as I approached an overpass. Out of nowhere, I heard my name “JOHN!”, clear as day, like someone was right there in the car with me. I jolted awake just in time to swerve and pull over safely. I sat there, shaken. Who had called my name? I didn’t know. So, I did what I always did back then—I let it go.

The second moment came during a business public speaking class. Our final exam was to present to the entire room. After I spoke, people came up to me with a spark in their eyes and said, “You should be a preacher.” I laughed it off. Me? A preacher? They didn’t know me. But those words lingered in the back of my mind like a seed waiting to be watered.

Years passed. My girlfriend, Jean stood by me through every ugly moment. And believe me, I gave her every reason to walk away. I was angry. Selfish. Blind. I didn’t see the damage I was causing because I was too caught up in my own mess. But Jean didn’t leave. She stayed. And one day, she told me something that stopped me cold:

“I believe I’m supposed to help guide you to the Lord.”

I didn’t know how to respond. It sounded impossible. Why would God even want someone like me?

But Jean started planting little seeds. Not preaching. Just gently talking about the Bible, asking to pray before meals. I said yes, but my heart was still hard. I didn’t believe. Not yet.

Then something changed.

While working on a few client design projects, an idea popped into my mind, something completely unexpected: a biblical-themed poster. I had no clue where it came from, but I couldn’t ignore it. I stopped what I was doing and started creating this piece. It wasn’t simple. It was intricate, time-consuming, and emotionally exhausting. One design took me an entire week. And I still didn’t know why I was doing it.

Then life shifted again.

Jean and I were in a serious car accident. I lost consciousness. We were both injured.

The car was totaled. Recovery took months. We were bruised, scarred, in pain, but alive. And as I lay there healing, more and more biblical design ideas started flooding into my head. I couldn’t even use a computer yet, so I began writing everything down.

I turned to Jean, confused, and asked, “What is happening to me?”

She smiled and said, “The Holy Spirit is working in you.”

I was stunned. Why would the Holy Spirit come to me? I was broken. Angry. Unworthy.

And yet, that was the beginning. I started praying. Not out loud. Not fancy. Just small, hesitant whispers in my heart. I didn’t know what to say at first. But God didn’t need perfect words, He just needed my heart to open. And as it did, I started to feel something I hadn’t felt in years: peace.

Real peace.

I became softer. Kinder. I started to really listen when people spoke to me, not just hear, but attend. I didn’t know there was a word for it. I just knew it was different. I knew I was changing.

And as I walked with the Lord, still stumbling and still learning, He kept showing up in ways I couldn’t ignore.

A car stopped inches from me in a parking lot because the driver looked up just in time.
Another passed dangerously close while I was using a weed trimmer near the street.
Once, walking the dogs, I didn’t look before one bolted toward the road. A driver swerved, missing us by what felt like a miracle.

Over and over again, I was protected.

And I knew, it wasn’t luck. It was love. It was grace. It was God.

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If you’ve ever wondered if God sees you… He does.
If you’ve ever thought you were too far gone… you’re not.
If you’ve ever felt too broken to be loved… let me tell you something from experience:

God uses the broken.
God heals the hardened.
God calls the unworthy—because none of us are worthy without Him.

If you’re not sure what you believe, or where to begin, just ask.
One small prayer. One honest question.
He hears you. Even in the silence.

Especially in the silence.

And if He could reach me, believe me, He can reach you too.
H John